Welcome to the end of February. Two months down for 2022. By now, most everyone has not only dropped their new year’s resolutions but forgotten what they were. The world has thrown a few more terrible events onto the dumpster fire, and if you’re anything like me, you feel distracted and a bit disheartened. Again. Because every week brings some new thing to protest or to overwhelm us or just to make us cry.
The Russian invasion of Ukraine makes me feel all the emotions. Frustration that there’s so little I can do beyond donate money, after what feels like years of donating money to situations that don’t improve. Anger at governments that should have seen this coming and done something before we reached this point. Heartbreak for families forced to flee their homes.
And yet… and yet. I think I’m getting better at this. Call it adaptation or cynicism. But it takes me less time to accept that this is how our world is. Fewer days to stop scrolling Twitter for constant updates. I shift from rubbernecking to self-education mode and then move on. I find the places doing good work—the organizations with boots on the ground, the providers of reliable information. I narrow my scope. I compartmentalize. Because only I can keep my own life moving forward.
If you’re looking for ways to contribute to the relief effort in Ukraine:
CARE: Ukraine Crisis Fund - Providing humanitarian relief to Ukraine.
World Central Kitchen - On the ground in Europe, already providing meals to Ukraine and neighboring countries.
The Kyiv Independent - An English-language publication dedicated to keeping information flowing out of the country. They have a GoFundMe and a Patreon linked on their homepage.
I’ve been reading Austin Kleon’s KEEP GOING: 10 WAYS TO STAY CREATIVE IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD. He wrote it at a time when he was frustrated by the political shitstorm taking place in the United States, and how distracted he felt by the constant bombardment of terrible news. In short, he wrote the book he needed to read. I didn’t realize that when I picked it up; it just sounded appropriate, and I loved his previous titles, STEAL LIKE AN ARTIST and SHOW YOUR WORK. And yes, it’s still timely.
So, I’ve been dipping in and out. Dog-earring pages, which is not typical for me. And I came across this quote:
“The greatest need of our time is to clean out the enormous mass of mental and emotional rubbish that clutters our minds and makes of all political and social life a mass illness. Without this housecleaning, we cannot begin to see. Unless we see, we cannot think.” ~ Thomas Merton
Kleon talks about finding your “bliss station,” that place where you can close the door against the mental static stealing your attention and energies. A place to turn away from news and problems and find your creative mindset.
I started this year conscious that I’d lost a sense of who I am outside of work and family obligations. The pandemic and its accompanying period of isolation stripped me of so much energy that all I could do was try and focus on what needed to get accomplished, and anything beyond that was really just a form of distraction. I logged countless hours watching and rewatching Great British Bake-Off as a means of scrubbing my mind, quieting my brain. It was entertainment as a form of erasure, not as inspiration.
And so I promised myself this year to find things that engaged my curiosity. Stretched my creativity. Felt personal. Not obligations but desires. I decided to play, with words and images, music and nature. To leave the house when I have nowhere I need to be.
It’s surprisingly difficult. Inertia weighs me down, like a lead blanket pinning me to the couch. I’ve made inroads, but they’re tiny. I started this newsletter. I’ve been reading a bit more broadly. But going out? It requires so much thought. Determination. A plan. Not to mention permission to walk away from whatever work remains on my to-do list. Spending an hour writing at home is a far simpler segue. I can easily shift back to a work task—it’s all right there. But leaving the house is purposeful. And for someone who works from home—did even pre-pandemic—leaving the house is vital. For me, that bliss station involves new vistas, a way to reset.
I’ve decided to mark out time on my calendar to go play. Anyone who has read Julia Cameron’s THE ARTIST’S WAY will be familiar with her concept of the artist’s date—taking yourself out once a week or so to refill the well, however you wish to do that. Go to the movies or a museum, walk through a new neighborhood, take in a concert, read in a cozy coffee shop. It’s time to gather inspiration, replenish your mind, find your inner voice, to just be a human being in the world. When I run my annual writing challenge, I encourage participants to calendar their writing time, to commit to themselves by setting formal appointments, complete with notifications. And so I’m taking my own advice.
I’d be curious to hear if any of you feel you lost part of yourself during these last few years, and if so, what you’re doing to recapture it.
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I watched a video on YouTube this week that I appreciated for a point of view I know will work for me on some of those days when positivity has left the building, and getting out of bed can be a challenge. I encourage you to give it a watch—it’s just over five minutes—but the gist of it was that putting off a thing can cause just as much pain and strife as the pain of actually doing it. But if you make the choice to do it, the pain is under your control and there’s an accomplishment at the end to reward your efforts. But watch the video.
(And understand that I’m not offering this up as an answer to mental health issues. Depression and anxiety take many forms and come at different levels, so please seek help from a professional if you need assistance.)
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A few more links to share:
Ilya Kaminsky on Ukrainian, Russian, and the Language of War - The Ukrainian poet speaks to the relationship between the two countries.
20 Famous Writers on Being Rejected - Some good reminders that everyone deals with rejection.
Can We Still Judge a Romance Novel by Its Cover? - A look at the evolution of romance novel covers, and the genre as a whole.
“I Want Reading to Save People” – Anthony Veasna So - An interview with the late author discussing his interesting approach to character and story.
How Florine Stettheimer Captured the Luxury and Ecstasy of New York - A bit of armchair travel and art education in one.
Currently in my teacup:
Ginger Peach Black Tea from The Republic of Tea. (Mug - conference gift from Surrey International Writers’ Conference)
Currently on my nightstand:
THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO by Alexandre Dumas
SET ME ON FIRE: A POEM FOR EVERY FEELING An anthology by Ella Risbridger
I’m getting ready to tackle the good Count for #montecristomarch over on Instagram. Join in if you’ve been meaning to read it!
I will wrap things up there for now. Thank you for reading, and please go ahead and drop a comment if you’d like to chat. Let me know how the world is distracting you, and how you fight against the drag on your forward momentum. I’d love to hear your thoughts! Until next time.🥰
Have I lost a part of myself through the pandemic? Absolutely. I feel like I lost the part of me that is "woman." Not mom. Not wife. Woman. There was very little time for "me" through the hard times. It is instinctual for me to worry about everyone else first. I was a nurse by trade before having children, so once I traded in taking care of patients for taking care of my kids, I just transferred that need to care for others onto them. I need to make a conscious effort to do for me, which is where writing comes in. To complete a novel during a pandemic with feet constantly underfoot, I had to be disciplined on my writing and drink a LOT of coffee. The quiet times early in the morning or late at night usually the latter, I'm a night owl) is when I do my best thinking. I wrote my synopsis at 1 AM and a few edits with my editor later, it was ready to go. I wanted to thank you for the article about rejections. The constant theme of "trying" throughout all the stories resonated with me. Getting the rejection letters is tough. Like "I just want to crawl back under my covers" tough, BUT I'm trying. I am trying. And one of those nos will lead me to that yes.